Planning as an anxiety ritual ... yes! I so resonated with your experience: "Whatever I anticipate going wrong will turn out to be just fine. Whatever does go wrong will be something I never even considered." Same here. My planning tools are like a security blanket that I cling to when I'm facing a new situation where I feel a loss of control.
As a former teacher, I always plan my day. Planning gives me goals and, while this is reassuring, I know I might not achieve them. And that's okay. Each day has surprise elements, things not on my list. Yesterday I delivered some of my grief books to a bereaved caregiver, a rewarding experience for both of us. Moral of the story: surprise is always part of my plan.
When I look back on my life so far, I have been spectacularly bad at predicting my future even 2-5 years forward. Despite some low lows, overall I’ve often found that I have a better future than I predicted, thanks mostly to luck & flexibility rather than solely from hard work & privilege. This comforts me on the bad days when fast forward hijack provides an endless steam of disaster scenarios. Thank you for your thoughtful writing & I always enjoy your links, even though I live in Australia.
Whatever is in front of you is the teacher...at any given moment. When I flit around, I have to remember that. Sure I try to focus and accomplish. But there's a natural flow and sometimes you don't fight it and just go with the flow. I've seen from you just how illuminating that flow can be. So, at any given moment, wherever you are on your planned path, look at what is in front of you. I know you are doing just that. It's who you are. And as they say, shit happens...and that shit isn't all bad.
Planning as an anxiety ritual ... yes! I so resonated with your experience: "Whatever I anticipate going wrong will turn out to be just fine. Whatever does go wrong will be something I never even considered." Same here. My planning tools are like a security blanket that I cling to when I'm facing a new situation where I feel a loss of control.
As a former teacher, I always plan my day. Planning gives me goals and, while this is reassuring, I know I might not achieve them. And that's okay. Each day has surprise elements, things not on my list. Yesterday I delivered some of my grief books to a bereaved caregiver, a rewarding experience for both of us. Moral of the story: surprise is always part of my plan.
When I look back on my life so far, I have been spectacularly bad at predicting my future even 2-5 years forward. Despite some low lows, overall I’ve often found that I have a better future than I predicted, thanks mostly to luck & flexibility rather than solely from hard work & privilege. This comforts me on the bad days when fast forward hijack provides an endless steam of disaster scenarios. Thank you for your thoughtful writing & I always enjoy your links, even though I live in Australia.
Whatever is in front of you is the teacher...at any given moment. When I flit around, I have to remember that. Sure I try to focus and accomplish. But there's a natural flow and sometimes you don't fight it and just go with the flow. I've seen from you just how illuminating that flow can be. So, at any given moment, wherever you are on your planned path, look at what is in front of you. I know you are doing just that. It's who you are. And as they say, shit happens...and that shit isn't all bad.