What's your superpower?

I don't want to be a superhero.

It’s become a cliche to declare whatever someone else might judge us for as our superpower. ADHD, being a cancer survivor, introversion, OCD, being a highly sensitive person, being a mom, being a caregiver…they’re all superpowers, along with many other traits and diagnoses.

Listening to the beginning of Camilla Pang’s An Outsider’s Guide to Humans had me rolling my eyes as she declared various traits of autism as her superpowers. No, these aren’t superpowers. They’re just a part of the human experience. The thing is, traits common among people on the spectrum are also common among all of us.

I understand the idea of reclaiming something people mock us for. See: my entire personality as a teenager. Being awkward and queer are also super powers, apparently.

It seems like a nice idea to be a superhero. The question, though, is: who’s the supervillain?

This framing encourages the idea we’re lone wolves. If we’re lucky, we’ve got sidekicks. What are we trying to do with these super powers, exactly? Go grocery shopping? Make it to the weekend? Get to the bottom of that pile of laundry?

The thing is, we aren't outsiders. Not having autism (or ADHD or OCD or whatever) doesn’t mean someone is neurotypical. Not having cancer (or Ehlers-Danlos syndrome or diabetes or MS) doesn’t mean that person is perfectly healthy. Rates of disabilities are so incredibly frequent that perfect health is a myth. There are also plenty of atypical traits that aren’t characterized as disabilities.

When I did a quick search, I found an article claiming 95% of people have at least one health issue, along with lots of headlines following the format of ‘perfectly healthy x dies suddenly of x.’ “Perfectly healthy” might just mean asymptomatic and/or undiagnosed.

If we assume that we’re the only one struggling, that no one else understands how we feel, that everyone else is perfectly normal and has never felt compelled to hide their true self in order to be socially acceptable…that’s going to keep us from connecting with people.

We’re all a little quirky. It’s why we relate to so many pop-psych tiktok posts. It’s why there are so many best sellers about weirdos. We all relate to feeling like we don’t fit in.

No matter what makes you feel different, you aren't a freak of nature. You’re not alone in this. You don’t need to be super human.

The jokes on me, since my search history now guarantees I’ll be served up ads for t-shirts with slogans like “caregiving is my super power!” and “I’m a medical mom, what’s your super power?” until I throw my laptop in the ocean.

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If you’re in the US and aren’t already enrolled in Medicare, the Family Caregiver Alliance and The Medicare Rights Center are doing a presentation on Medicare basics on December 14th.

On January 18th, the Tamarack Institute is having a webinar on discovering the hidden talents, assets, and abilities in your neighbourhood.

One nice thing about leaving policy decisions up to the states is that it provides so much flexibility. The US is a huge and incredibly diverse country. It also means things like paid leave policies vary wildly from one state to another and few people in rural America have access to paid leave.

Amy Tan on why MAID is simultaneously good and bad.

Mari Andrew on how burnout has come to mean many different things and the satisfaction of having something to show for a day's work.

Bogota is repackaging existing community center programs and marketing them as caregiver support services.

NPR has some tips for dealing with dread.

The Oatmeal has some thoughts on how it feels to vent.

Sleep tips from truckers.