When I was a high school freshman, our guidance counselor told us about the importance of scheduling. The detail that stuck with me from this presentation was her example of a friend who scheduled time to cry between meetings.
I thought of this while listening to a Hidden Brain episode from forever ago that I found among the podcasts clogging up the space on my phone. The episode points out how our singular focus on a task is a great way to get through short-term challenges. Tunnel vision can save our lives in an emergency. It can also be useful for more mundane things, when we just need to power through and get things done, no matter how tired we are or how many other things we need to do.
With tunnel vision, we channel our anxiety and fear into action so we can do what needs to be done, no matter what. Dealing with emergencies only is not great for us in the long term. We see it in people making critical mistakes when they're sleep deprived. We see it in people who become totally burnt out. You know the toll because you've seen it. You might be living it.
People can stave off the catastrophes that come with tunnel vision by following the advice of my high school guidance counselor. Schedule time to cry so you can keep it together during meetings. Make sure you get the minimum amount of sleep to not make dangerous mistakes. Make sure you have snacks stashed so you don't faint from skipping meals. Make sure you take vitamins and wash your hands since your immune system is probably suppressed. Make sure to make the most of those five minutes of downtime: a power nap, texting a friend, using a therapy app. People live in the tunnel for decades.
It's very easy for people who provide care to be boxed into situations where tunnel vision seems like the only option. Caregivers aren't given options, or if they are, each option is worse than the last. When our systems demand perfection, they ensure we will fail.
Short term tunnel vision is the stuff of miracles. When we stay in the tunnel too long, it strips our life of meaning. If we ever make it through the tunnel, waiting on the other side are the consequences of treating our family, our community, and our self as a distraction. We make it through only to fall apart.
If you're rebuilding your life after making it through the tunnel, you can find a supportive community in our After Caregiving FB group.
