Growing up, it seemed obvious that in order to be a smart and capable person, one needed to know the answers to questions. My life as a child and a young adult continually reinforced this idea.
Now that we millennials are considered ‘geriatric’, I keep noticing that the wisest people I know are often the ones asking questions, not answering them. The most interesting questions are ones that have no single answer. Often the most difficult part is figuring out what questions are most worthy of our consideration.
One of the reasons I decided to relocate to Portugal was that I felt so mired in a certain understanding of care work (and the world). I needed something to release me from my perspective. I wanted experiences that would push me to notice things I hadn’t even considered questioning.
Some questions do have clear answers. It’s certainly been humbling to keep encountering situations that I find baffling, while knowing that any child who grew up here would know how to navigate it. Sometimes I can puzzle things out, sometimes I need someone to help. Capabilities, alas, are highly specific and not always transferable. The best way to feel capable is to avoid anything unfamiliar.
As someone whose life has unfolded in different places and circumstances, releasing myself from the responsibility to have the answers gives me the power to transform trials into adventures. Life, thankfully, is not a pop quiz.
Here are a few questions that have intrigued me recently.
Other people’s questions:
Shouldn’t we have an economy that makes us feel valued and cared for?
Is there no such thing as genius for knowing right from wrong?
Why is so much American bureaucracy left to average citizens?
Why do adults care what young people think?
Who will care for kinless seniors?
What’s one cool trick that improves your day? (stolen from Garrett Bucks)
My questions:
Why does the government make it so difficult to access all kinds of support, even after they’ve created aid especially for those considered deserving of help?
Who decides what life extending care is provided by default and what is not to be provided?
How can we remember that ‘normal’ is a theoretical point used for statistical purposes?
Why do we accept the cruelty of bureaucracy?
What are your favorite blogs that focus on care work?
What questions are you pondering these days?
Today at 5pm est there’s an Instagram live for people new to care work with Corey Empowers and Ashley from The Dementia Guru.
There’s a queer and polyamorous death cafe on December 13th. This is a monthly event, so if you can’t join this time there’s always January.
The Tokyo Political Reading Group is discussing Beatrice Adler-Bolton’s Health Communism on January 29th. A summary of the book will be provided for this online event so those who have not read the book can participate.
Donna Thomson spoke with Tanya Yarkoni about changing your emotions in caregiving, a conversation that’s available to watch on demand.
What? Cori when did you move to Portugal? And what a great idea to write out all ones big questions. It’d be so fun to see everyone’s list!