When I heard about the curfew that’s now in effect in Quebec, my first thought was of something that happened well over a decade ago.
My friend’s mom called him and asked him to come over in a tone that sounded urgent. She was going through chemo, so he dropped what he was doing and got in the car without hesitation.
When arrived, she seemed to just want to watch TV together. He was confused, but didn’t press the issue when she said she was fine.
The next morning she called him again, explaining that last night she thought she was having a heart attack, then thought maybe she was just having a panic attack, and now she was pretty sure she’d had a heart attack.
She’d had a heart attack.
I have no doubt that if the police in Quebec were to stop you for being out past 8pm, they would choose not give you the minimum $1,000 fine (higher once you include the fees) for breaking curfew if you were to explain to them that you were checking on your mother, who has cancer.
Is it essential to go change a lightbulb?
When you can do it during a friendly visit, they are not left to decide they’re not so frail they can’t get on a step stool and do it themselves.
It’s hard to admit you need help.
When is it important enough to call and ask for help when there’s a pandemic?
When is it important enough to call when your city is in lockdown?
When is it important enough to call when there’s a curfew?
Exceptions for caregiving only work if the person who requires care and the person providing care are both prepared to put that label on what they do. They are the “caregiver” and the “disabled” and the work to be done is “essential.”
If you’re in the market for a resolution and are open to starting on January 11th, let me suggest writing a poem a day.
The events in DC are and aren’t connected to care work. The present-day and historic experience of care work are shaped by the same policies and systems that uphold inequality. I found this piece by Kaitlyn Greenidge insightful.