In-the-moment feelings vs overall feelings
Staying positive doesn't mean being happy 100% of the time
Watching the pilot episodes for the TELUS Fund’s Stories for Caregivers program, I was moved by the story of Bob and Suzie Coss, who take care of their son, Michael. Bob talks about the importance of staying positive and holding onto hope as a caregiver. He also doesn’t shy away from discussing just how difficult it’s been.
Staying positive doesn’t mean “good vibes only.” It doesn’t mean being happy all the time or ignoring how difficult life can be. You can accept the full range of emotions and still be an optimist.
We’re allowed to have hard days, to cry, to lose our cool, to fall apart. Staying positive isn’t about being locked into one mode — happy, no matter what. It’s about trusting that the moment we’re in, these feelings of being overwhelmed, will pass. It’s about knowing that, more than just being good despite being difficult, a difficult life can be good because it’s meaningful.
I see so many people struggling to control their emotions. Who feel like failures because they can’t keep a smile on their face each day, regardless of what’s going on. Who feel guilty for being people, rather than superhuman characters. I wonder what’s going on that we’ve come to believe we have to be this way.
A greater awareness of autism has brought the concept of masking into common parlance. It’s made me realize how much we all engage in similar behavior. We perform a version of ourselves we imagine other people want us to be. It’s exhausting. It’s inauthentic. It puts a wall between us and the people in our lives. Ultimately, it walls us off from our true feelings. I’m not sure we can truly feel positive emotions if we’re walling off the negative. We can stay positive and stay real.
I Had No Idea I Was So Angry Until I Went to a Rage Room
You do not need permission to rest.
Who holds the family together after the death of the matriarch?
Anne Helen Petersen quote of the week:
“Surely, vitamins and minerals are important. But sometimes the junky foods can actually aid health conditions: One of the best ways to combat a migraine, for example, is drinking a Coke. Or they help with parenting: Some kids, including those with sensory issues, need food in whatever form they’ll consume it. Chicken nuggets are fantastic protein bombs. A cup of apple juice can keep a chronically constipated kid’s bowels regular. Some people, regardless of age, need more salt in their diet, not less; some people need more fat, or caffeine, or dairy, or none at all. And others just need more things in their lives that are delicious—that remind them of the true bounty and delights of being human.”
I’m honoured that you found my article on rest interesting/relevant, as I love your weekly links. The one on Care Justice today: “You can’t organize a bunch of people who feel guilty. You can organize people who are angry.” Oof. And the one about feeling responsible for others. Oof.