😷 On staying safe when not much is in your control 😷
When I was in university I lived with a microbiology major and a natural resources management major. Which meant that our lives revolved around diseases and climate change.
The constant discussion of food contamination and pollution and disease risk factors and flooding and crop failures fired a slowly building panic inside me, about everything I touched and ate and did.
I read something about a woman trying to follow food safety precautions to the letter: disinfecting everything, keeping raw foods isolated, checking the temperature of all foods. This is what we're supposed to do every day to stay safe from food borne pathogens and it is basically impossible. It's not how people cook. She reached a breaking point realizing she could never safety eat berries again, because to clean them properly is to ruin them.
There was no way to follow food safety precautions. Which, oddly, I found comforting. There was no way to do things right, so I could just do my best and that had to be enough.
Most of you were already doing the things experts are recommending to slow the spread of the novel coronavirus. Plenty of us have already gone through the steps to prepare our homes for people with seriously compromised immune systems. We know what to do to reduce risks, and how to cope with isolation, better than anyone.
Everything we do involves risks. Staying in involves risks. Going out involves risks. Sometimes we need to turn off the actuary in our heads and just do the best we can.
Everyone is shouting #stayhome from the rooftops (both digital and literal) but that's easier said than done. We cannot all seal ourselves off from the world indefinitely. Each person who's staying home is being supported by a heck of a lot of people who aren't.
We need to get groceries and medications and supplies somehow. We need to go to essential appointments, because so much "elective" care is not really optional. A lot of people are essential workers, because the trash doesn't get from the chute to the landfill on its own. You don't need to be a nurse to not have the option of staying home until this is over.
I know that you, of all people, knows how to reduce risks. To prevent cross-contamination. To keep high-touch surfaces clean. To avoid exposure to germs we might bring home to someone else.
You know what to do. You're doing your best.
PS. I've seen a lot of people getting reminded of what a privilege it is to be bored at home or overwhelmed by work when other people are unemployed. Which, sure, okay, it's helpful to have perspective.
But when you have food poisoning and are crapping your brains out and trying not to simultaneously puke, anyone who tells you "well, you should be thankful it's just food poisoning and not cancer!" is a real jerk.
Suffering is not allocated globally. Someone else suffering more doesn't take your suffering away (just ask schoolyard bullies). Whatever you're upset about right now is legit, even if it's a #tinyviolin sort of suffering.
Who of us hasn't been brought to tears by something inconsequential? My bursting into tears because I spilled coffee all over the living room rug doesn't mean I don't care about people who are in the ICU right now.
It's okay to be upset over something that isn't worthy of a history book or a Lifetime movie.
PPS. Adrienne's done two Zoom Rooms so far to give us a chance to check-in and chat face-to-face, virtually. Keep an eye on our Facebook page (which you can view without being logged in) and the forums (which does require a login, but hit reply and I'll set you up) to see when the next one will be.
Our private forums are back online! If you want to take a break from social media while staying connected to other people who get it -- or miss the old days when the forums were super active -- reply to this message or request a login at the bottom of the login page.
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If you are in a crisis situation,
In Canada: call 1-833-456-4566 or text 45645 for Crisis Services Canada.
In the US: call 1-800-273-8255 for the US Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also text 741-741 for free, 24-hour support from the Crisis Text Line.
Outside of the US and Canada: please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention to find resources in your area.