Social distancing and the illusion of control
Right now a lot of people are saying that if you leave the house you could potentially be responsible for other people's deaths.
Doing what we can to slow the spread of covid is important, obviously. But let's not overstate how much control we have or claim responsibility for things we aren't responsible for.
We can wash our hands. We can cancel plans, work from home, and delay non-essential errands. But that's pretty much all we can do.
The goal of all the measures being put in place isn't even to prevent the virus from reaching everyone, the goal is to slow the rate of transmission. It's likely that the very people we are trying so hard to protect from the virus will eventually get it. We just don't want everyone to get it at once, so people who need hospital care and equipment can access it.
You are not responsible for the impact of a virus.
You do not decide who does and does not die.
None of us can control the outcome here.
You are not responsible for who lives and dies from covid, just as you are not responsible for who lives and dies from cancer or strokes or any other disease.
It's hard to watch people suffer. To wait for something terrible to hit our communities. To see our neighbors overwhelmed with fear and panic. It's easy to look for someone to blame or to grasp at rituals that give us a feeling of being in control of a situation.
But this is not a controllable situation. We can only do our best, knowing that our best will not be enough to change the impact of a pandemic.
PS. How are you coping with covid anxiety? Join the conversation in our private Facebook group.
I find that reading (or listening to audio books) is helpful to keep me from ruminating.
I like going on long walks (ideally with a dog and sometimes while listening to an audio book).
Lots of people find the 1-2-3-4-5 trick helpful when they're on the verge of a panic attack.