Why do strangers ask so many inappropriate questions? ❓❓❓
Shane Burcaw's book is called People Think My Girlfriend is My Nurse. If you're in a relationship with someone with a visible disability, you can probably relate.
How does Shane know that random bystanders assume his girlfriend is his nurse? Because they let him know what they think.
When you walk by strangers on the street, do you normally ask them how they're connected to the people they're with? Or shout it out? I'm going to guess the answer is no.
When my ex-wife and I were together, people would regularly stop us on the street to ask if we were twins. A woman once followed us out of a liquor store and leaned into the car window to ask if my wife was my mom. People at the bank and a real estate office insisted that we were sisters. Like, really insisted and wouldn't drop it.
I've gotten the same thing when I'm out with my step mom. When we went through a haunted house people kept asking "Is she your mom?" I was holding her hand because she is not good with scary things.
Most people who assume Shane's girlfriend is his nurse assume it like we make assumptions about anyone else on the street. We barely think it before we move on to thinking about what to make for dinner or what's on TV or whatever.
People who stop to question or comment about your relationship status are not confused or curious. They are letting us know that they disapprove of our life choices.
People are stopping Shane and Hannah to tell them that people like Shane are gross and don't deserve to be loved. But in a way that feels a little more socially acceptable. Why are you offended? It's just a question.
PS. If you want to see that there are tons of interabled couples, check out #100outof100.
PPS. When people talk about the best-selling novel Panchinko they don't describe it as being a book about interabled romance, but it's got three interabled couples in the main plot line and no inspiration porn.