There are no easy answers
So much of what drives me is the feeling that most people working to improve the lives of caregivers are asking the wrong questions.
Sure, a new app or some cash might make your day a little easier, but most of the things I see making a difference in people's lives aren't about healthcare or technology or even money or the sort of things you can easily quantify.
That's why I'm so inspired by Peter Block, Donna Thompson, and Raj Mehta. They're busy asking really interesting questions rather than proposing an answer. Our lives are far too complex for there to be any one solution and let's be honest that none of us want an expert to come in and tell us what to do. We need to create our own solutions and have the ability to enact them.
Johann Hari's work keeps popping up on my radar. He's best known for his work on addiction, but the causes he cites for the root of addiction seem to have a lot in common with what I see causing despair and burnout among caregivers: disconnection.
When we find ourselves facing life's inevitable problems alone, we fall apart.
In discussing the fight for affordable housing in one neighborhood, Johann said "the struggle is the solution."
At a certain point it was almost besides the point if they solved the original problem or not, because people were no longer facing life alone. In coming together to address a problem, they became a community. When you're part of a community, you can cope with pretty much anything.
When we talk about caregiver burnout it's easy for it to sound like caregiving is the problem -- like the person we're caring for is the problem. But that's not it at all. The problem is that we're going it alone. That we need to care for people and be cared for as part of a larger community.
The world is full of caregiving experts. I don't want to knock the work they do. But I'm pretty sure we need each other more than we need experts.
PS. Have you signed up for our caregiving buddy program? It's not too late! Sign up here.