Some advice (but not from me)
When I was supposed to be learning to code as a freshman in high school, we were instead exploring the protointernet in a quest for the most disturbing things we could find. Along with the crime scene photos and porn, I discovered Heather Havrilesky.
I've followed her writing career ever since, through the rough years when she worked as a TV critic and wrote only about shows I've never seen (which is all shows). Nowadays she is known for her advice column on The Cut.
Last week's letter struck a chord with me. I talk to so many people who are desperately lonely as they struggle with caregiving responsibilities.
But the thing is, they're prickly. They're angry at the people they feel let them down and they invite potential new friends to first navigate an obstacle course of bitterness and distrust. They don't have the time to waste on someone who might not be worthy.
The letter isn't from a caregiver. In fact, it's from someone who probably receives a great deal of care. But the obstacle course, the desire for connection that's burning him up from the inside, sounds very familiar.
PS. The other day I looked up and was struck by a clear sky full of stars. This summer friends got me into a free app called Skyview that helps you find the stars and it's pretty neat. They have it for Android and iphone.